Acronym Wars

09/20/09 10:32

Do the 30-second previews on iTunes constitute a “public performance” that entitles songwriters and composers to a royalty payment? That’s apparently the position of the Songwriters United for Knowledge of Equitable Revenue Sharing, a composers’ rights organization.

The increasing industry acceptance of this borderline-psychotic contention was revealed in a recent interview with David Rezner, CEO of Universal Music Publishing Group and co-chairman of the Department of International Companies Hailing Every Additional Dollar Source. Says Rezner: “In the US, while we do get paid a mechanical licensing fee from iTunes, we are not getting any performance income from Apple yet.”

The songwriters and music labels are hoping to promote their common interests by creating a new organization called Society of Companies United for Music Being A Generous Zone.

A spokesman for the Bureau of American Standards To Ensure Righteous Digital Sales says the trade group is lobbying Congress for the payment of performance royalties for iTunes previews, even though a 30-second snippet of a song only qualifies as a “public performance” if a consumer is streaming the previews at full volume in a Starbucks on a MacBook Pro hooked up to a Bose Wave Music System plugged in behind the frappucino machine.

So, as usual, the situation in the music business is dominated by SUKERS, DICHEADS and SCUMBAGZ, and supported by money-grubbing BASTERDS.

And yet, for some reason, everybody still says the problems faced by the industry are all Apple’s fault.

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