Tired of the glossy screens on current Apple products? Presenting the Laptop Burka, an upper-body-covering shroud that eliminates glare when using your shiny new MacBook Pro outside, or your Apple Cinema Display in bright indoor environments. It has the added benefits of reducing your risk of skin cancer and making you look like such a nutjob that no one will want to talk to you, which means greater workday productivity. Celebrities, fair-skinned IT people, relocated Federal witnesses, and squinty folks of all types will love this breathable fabric marvel. Despite the name, the device is NOT recommended for women in countries ruled by authoritarian Islamic regimes -- because the lower legs and ankles of the user are still plainly visible.

And before you ask -- yes, this is absolutely for real.