The Macinquirer Short Attention Span Guide to Screen Tech Terminology

08/15/09 13:07

The interwebs are full to the brim with rumors about Apple’s “imminent” release of a netbook/tablet/widescreen phone/other portable device bigger than an iPhone but smaller than a notebook. Some of the most recent buzz suggessts we may see an OLED screen on the new device. Personally, we think most of this speculation is high-tech bullfeathers -- especially the OLED part.

Assuming the gizmo exists at all, The MacInquirer suspects the source of the rumors may have confused “OLED” with “Oleophobic”, the magical coating on the glass of the new iPhone 3GS. The confusion is understandable, as the terms both start with the letter O and describe technology unfamiliar to most people. With that in mind, we present the MacInquirer Short Attention Span Guide to Screen Tech Terminology:

OLED: Organic Light Emitting Diode . Uses organic material to produce an exceptionally bright and saturated color picture.
Upside: Cooler than your friend’s phone.
Downside: Currently even pricier than Amazon’s new 50-inch Kindle TV.

Oleophobic: The 3GS magic coating that resists finger-grease.
Upside: Apple says it works.
Downside: PC World tests with an iPhone 3GS and a bucket of KFC were inconclusive.

OCD: Creates screen graphics when a user touches the same spot ten times, then turns around in a circle while simultaneously whistling the hook from Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida.”
Upside: Cheap.
Downside: Slow response times, plus everybody thinks you like Coldplay.

ODB: Used only in the limited Wu-Tang Clan Edition iPod Touch from 2008.
Tech media consensus: Ain’t Nuthin’ ta F’ Wit.

The OC: Technology demo from Apple’s Newport Beach Research Campus.
Upside: All the songs sounded really hip.
Downside: Spanked in performance by Gray’s Anatomy in season 4.

Earlier this month, a partnership involving adult content provider Pink Visual and iPorn.com announced a new display technology codenamed OB/GYN. No further information is available at this time.

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